2 years later, I am rebuilding my life. Those people mentioned in post left a legacy of loss. But, I work hard each day to create a new legacy. Even if working hard only produces that I show up to life that day. There have been days I missed those I loved despite the hurt they caused. There have been days I wish our paths never crossed. There have definitely been days where I just wanted to QUIT – figuratively and literally. No money, barely having the essentials, not able to help anyone else better yet myself or my kids. But, in my own personal learning trajectory I have learned to just show up.
Things are a little more stable these days. I started my position as a Marketing Associate for Legal Shield (thank you angel, Henry Barefield). I started Aya’s Lyrics. My kids still are teens (+ a 20 year old). All those things give me hope. But there are still days when I want to quit, cannot see my future for my circumstances and truly wonder if this life? Is this all? For those days, I just show up. Sometimes disheveled with tears flowing. But I am here. Even if I don’t remember why, even when the output I get doesn’t match the heart and effort I put in. Some days all I can do is show up. And I happen to think those days are my bravest.