A short time ago, I said “See you later” to a very dear friend of mine, Monica “Moni Rashad” Thomas. She was that type of woman you hear your mother tell you about. That all knowing friend who seems to have a direct line, no really direct line, to God. She can prophisy over you, her worlds like you grandmother’s homemade salve to wounds that seemed to never heal.   She could “tell you about yo’self” without you even feel the sting of the soul surgery that she was performing on you.  And her voice. . . oh my! A direct line from angels and ancestors.

See for yourself. . . http://youtu.be/eT-08cXm0tk

She was supposed to sing when my husband and I renewed our vows.  But, it wasn’t to be (at least not on this side of heaven). It was crazy, my grandmother is hospice care at home and has been there for a year now. I expected to bury my grandmother this year, as she ends a 17  year struggle with Alzheimer’s Disease. But Moni, we had plans. . . plans to help the kids and women. . . to raise money and consciouseness.  Mother’s day this year, she was stricken ill and a few weeks later, she slipped into the arms of the Master that she served (and she served him without get caught up on what name to call him.) The masterpiece of her life, an exercise in faith, was complete. And I was pissed. I was hurt. I wanted to be selfish and I wanted her here.

I told someone that I had ideas of how my future was going to be and there a big page. . . no chapter just ripped out of my book of life. It couldn’t be over. I have since seen that she made many many people feel like that (and I often joke with her that she was cheating on me with all these other souls she touched.)  And since then, my grief over losing her has made my exercise of faith and prayer all the better. There are times when missing her consumes me and all I can say is “Jesus.”  I know I am building my spiritual muscles am I know she would be proud.

So, when the plans change, when someone bids farewell, draw nearer to the one loves you most. That’s something Moni would have said. “Yesterday has come and gone but – You just can’t let it go – Today is a brand new day- So you choose how it flows – Since tomorrow’s not promised to anyone – I’m thankful for today

So today, I stop to heal, the way God and Moni would prescribe “You’re blessed when you feel you’ve lost what is most dear to you. Only then can you be embraced by the One most dear to you.”  Matthew 5:4 (The Message)

And I am thankful for yesterdays with Moni, my todays and tomorrows with God.